Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Girl Who Wanders In

At some point in every woman's life, she finds herself as the girl who wanders in. The girl who wanders in is smart, adventurous, full of life and ambition and magical healing powers; she doesn't pose any measurable threat to your heart because her heart has already been there, and its not going back. She doesn't want to love you or marry you or bake you cupcakes or call herself your girlfriend; she's just healing like you. In her, you find some solace.
The girl who wanders in does not write you a great, epic love story, she does not meet your mom & if she does, she is just a friend. You meet her at a party, through a mutual friend, and in some random, awkward twist of events, you end up talking, and you can't stop. You'll have great, deep conversations, more honest and open than you expected from a stranger. She is full of ridiculous stories and completely enthralling, you'll probably tell her all the time, "if only I met you before," or, "maybe one day down the road." You'll laugh because you both know it's not true, yet you always find yourself wondering when she wanders in. 
The girl who wanders in is usually a bridge, the journey from a broken heart to a heart ready to love again, the journey to the woman you'll spend the rest of your life with. She comes when she's supposed to, and yet, she has no idea that this is her job. You'll probably kiss her once or twice & find yourself on the verge of deciding that maybe, just maybe, this girl is what you really needed after all. Maybe that crazy, hurricane of a woman that turned your world upside down before was never right for you. And right when you realize this, a hurricane will come back, from some other time, some other planet, drenching you, consuming you, reminding you how amazing torrential rain feels on exposed skin, and that moment of indecision, apprehension, that precious solace that wandered into your aching heart, is swept away by passion.
The best part of the girl who wanders in, though, is that you don't need to tell her, she already knows. She's a hurricane too but you'll never see that side of her; she's not your hurricane. She knows love and she knows crazy; she is not bitter or angry or resentful, she is your friend, remember? You laugh at her remarkable ability to give you peace, even when its at her own expense, and you go on without her, immersed in the all over love, the love we crave as thirst-seekers.
The hurricane will be angry and riddled with jealous rage at the slightest mention of the girl who wandered in; yet, she won't be able to hate her. The hurricane will find that the girl who wandered in is just her, in another time, in another place, in another soul. At some point in her life, the hurricane was the girl who wandered in, and she knows exactly the feeling. The girl who wanders in does not seek to fulfill you, she only seeks to help you as you help her. She does not seek to replace the hurricane, she knows that hurricanes come rarely & cannot be reenacted. The girl who wanders in, wanders out, onto greener pastures, onto create her own storm.
You won't forget her though. You'll remember that vivid creature who provided hydration in the midst of a drought. You'll remember her when the hurricane is hurricaning and you're trying to find oxygen, you'll remember that calm serenity she brought to you, and you'll wonder why the hurricane doesn't have more of that in her.
The hurricane will only shake her head at you, for only she knows that she & the girl who wanders in are one in the same.

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