Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Crazy Girl

There is a common misunderstanding that all women are crazy deranged soul-sucking vampire avalanche women (yeah I like comparing women to weather, we are catastrophic & elemental, accept it.) Rest assured though, the world is full of kind, sweet, mentally-stable, devoted angel women; women who your mother would approve of, women who do smart things, who make the right decisions, who always get home before the clock strikes midnight and shit starts turning into pumpkins. There are plenty of sensible, pleasant, white-toothed, silky haired, pearl wearing women in the world (ok, maybe the pearls are a stretch)...but I'd like to let you in on a little secret. Get ready. It's a big one. It might destroy the carefully constructed idea of the perfect woman you have in your head. (just kidding, you're not that creative)

Are you ready?...Are you sure?

I promise, promise on all the little life experience I have, that a crazy girl will bewitch you (body & soul), steal your heart, captivate your mind.

Sane girls are boring. That's right, I said it. You were all thinking it, shut up. It's the truth. Oh you're not mildly bipolar? Cool, you will probably never turn someone's life upside down and rock their world, you will never be the one that got away, but I mean good for you, way to be stable. You might marry a normal girl, think she's nice and take her home to your parents, you'll love her, you'll call her honey bunches of...Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Now don't confuse crazy with mean, I don't mean grumpy, miserable human beings. I mean straight up Crazy, with a capital C. Girls that make you reevaluate the entire basis of your existence, girls who fall off the wagon and go into dark spells, girls who have read too many books and have too many ideas about the way the world should be, girls who have issues: trust issues, past issues, commitment issues, claustrophobia issues, sleeping issues, daddy issues, ISSUES, girls who have no qualms about nudity and lots of qualms about gender roles. I mean the girls that captivate you from the get-go, catch your eye, break your fall, leave you turning in circles like you just stepped off a wonderful merry-go-round.

A crazy girl might drink too much, she might smoke too much, she might be wildly religious and on your case 24/7, she might have been hurt really badly, she might have too many tattoos for your taste, she'll be really indecisive and really demanding, she'll be really cold and distant and lock herself away in ivory towers. She might be so crazy that it takes you a solid month before you realize, wow this girl is a whack job. You will have absolutely no idea what the hell to do with her, how to help her, how to make her smile, how she's going to act, how you're possibly going to tame her. But that is the fun of it. There is little to no chance of keeping a crazy girl in your clutches, but you'll probably bust your ass to be in that 10% that catches one.

Crazy Girl...what is there to say about her? She's always different, she's always the one who changes everything, she, as John Mayer once said, will put the colors inside of your world. Fall in love with a Crazy Girl, enjoy it, lap up the inexplicable, incomparable magic that she sprinkles onto your snowglobe. Marry a normal girl, sure whatever you uptight ass, but fall in love with a Crazy Girl.

To My Fellow Crazy Girls, congratulations, you are the reason love stories continue to exist. Everybody has a Crazy Girl who slipped through their fingers...or, perhaps, stayed.

And to men like my daddy whose Crazy Girl stays, god bless you & your hair. Your life will never be dull.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Girl Who Wanders In

At some point in every woman's life, she finds herself as the girl who wanders in. The girl who wanders in is smart, adventurous, full of life and ambition and magical healing powers; she doesn't pose any measurable threat to your heart because her heart has already been there, and its not going back. She doesn't want to love you or marry you or bake you cupcakes or call herself your girlfriend; she's just healing like you. In her, you find some solace.
The girl who wanders in does not write you a great, epic love story, she does not meet your mom & if she does, she is just a friend. You meet her at a party, through a mutual friend, and in some random, awkward twist of events, you end up talking, and you can't stop. You'll have great, deep conversations, more honest and open than you expected from a stranger. She is full of ridiculous stories and completely enthralling, you'll probably tell her all the time, "if only I met you before," or, "maybe one day down the road." You'll laugh because you both know it's not true, yet you always find yourself wondering when she wanders in. 
The girl who wanders in is usually a bridge, the journey from a broken heart to a heart ready to love again, the journey to the woman you'll spend the rest of your life with. She comes when she's supposed to, and yet, she has no idea that this is her job. You'll probably kiss her once or twice & find yourself on the verge of deciding that maybe, just maybe, this girl is what you really needed after all. Maybe that crazy, hurricane of a woman that turned your world upside down before was never right for you. And right when you realize this, a hurricane will come back, from some other time, some other planet, drenching you, consuming you, reminding you how amazing torrential rain feels on exposed skin, and that moment of indecision, apprehension, that precious solace that wandered into your aching heart, is swept away by passion.
The best part of the girl who wanders in, though, is that you don't need to tell her, she already knows. She's a hurricane too but you'll never see that side of her; she's not your hurricane. She knows love and she knows crazy; she is not bitter or angry or resentful, she is your friend, remember? You laugh at her remarkable ability to give you peace, even when its at her own expense, and you go on without her, immersed in the all over love, the love we crave as thirst-seekers.
The hurricane will be angry and riddled with jealous rage at the slightest mention of the girl who wandered in; yet, she won't be able to hate her. The hurricane will find that the girl who wandered in is just her, in another time, in another place, in another soul. At some point in her life, the hurricane was the girl who wandered in, and she knows exactly the feeling. The girl who wanders in does not seek to fulfill you, she only seeks to help you as you help her. She does not seek to replace the hurricane, she knows that hurricanes come rarely & cannot be reenacted. The girl who wanders in, wanders out, onto greener pastures, onto create her own storm.
You won't forget her though. You'll remember that vivid creature who provided hydration in the midst of a drought. You'll remember her when the hurricane is hurricaning and you're trying to find oxygen, you'll remember that calm serenity she brought to you, and you'll wonder why the hurricane doesn't have more of that in her.
The hurricane will only shake her head at you, for only she knows that she & the girl who wanders in are one in the same.